Life is a Witch ! Cast your spell on me !

Reflections. Thoughts.

I’ve always wonder why guys sometimes are uncertain and so inconsistent. Today they say I love you next morning I love you but just as a friend..you know?. No I don’t know sorry, you love me or you get out. Stop messing around with my life it’s already busy enough without having you around.

This last two years were really .. up and down, full of surprises, full of laughs and tears. Between finding a job, giving up on love and moving to Korea a lot happened without speaking in details. I’ve been home-sick these days and spent hours staring at old text messages and pictures from Toronto without really wanted to go back. If you’ve followed the episode of Life is a Witch, the thing is before I came to Korea I had a friend in Toronto (who’s name is still not JW) among other friends.. and was reading his text messages again, on kakaotalk and whatsapp.. The way he was writing his text messages seemed perfectly A-okay 2  years ago. Now that I look at it again I was thinking .. Was he actually in love with me ? No it can’t be.. I know that he speaks English and Korean good enough to say that it wasn’t a cultural difference nor a language barrier thing but his inconsistency drove me to the edge of crazyness. So when a guy tells you :

I miss you so much, I’m worrying about you. Are you sick ? Okay than don’t go to work tomorrow I’ll be there tomorrow morning and I’ll bring meds for your cold. 

(Uhm.. Since when are we dating already?) Fine. This is still friendship at the very edge. I went to NYC with my parents for Christmas and that same person called me to say things like ..

I just wanted to hear your voice, I love you.. as a friend. I miss so you much, just come to back to Toronto with me. 

(Are we actually dating ? I thought you said we were friends??) Wait a minute, I didn’t say I was moving to NYC. I just went to see my parents for Christmas. Okay whatever.. Then we had a fight, because .. of something really stupid, he was at a turning point of his life and needed to study to pass his last college-prep class. So I decided to help him studying BUT he was spending more time on internet then he should have studied. So I got mad at him and then he was like ..

Come let’s just talk while driving, I’ll drive you home. Aaaa I’m so sorry  T.T

(No, you’re not sorry you’re an idiot) Okay this is still friendship.. to summarize I would play his mom and he would be my 27 yo son. But THEN I told him I would go to South Korea and he was like..

I never want to talk you again. You’re just a liar you promised me we would go to Niagara together. blah blah blah.. 

(I really can’t remember.. were we actually on a relationship?????) What was that for again ?? So .. let’s summarize.. In our “Friendship” I would play his mom and he would be my 10yo son studying for Biology 1st year Undergrad. Okay that can do .. at a certain extent and if I don’t hear things that can make me cry just right before I leave my OWN country, going to a Different country in Asia, learn a new language, loose my friend, never see my family again for at least 2 years (What else?..), work and study and trying to rush my ass to finish my degree and have a great job in less than 5 years. You know the details already. Darn.

Oh don’t worry he’s not the only one. I met a guy AS A FRIEND who was calling me every f****ing day to fix his Rogers Bill and then ended up telling me ..

Why do you call me to go for a drink, I barely know you, maybe we can meet sometimes next year. 

Well I just crossed out your name from my contact list and I’m still wondering .. why would you use people freely ? Do you think it doesn’t cost an once of respect to have help for free and not using what we call Common sense ? Whenever I ask help to someone I feel so guilty that I wanna kill myself, even just for a pencil that I forgotten to bring during my test. Hooooow does your brain work exactly ? Explain that to me.

Once again, it’s fine, one friend more or less what difference does it make eh? I know myself well enough to know that I don’t use people on purpose without giving anything in return and I see a human being in everything that walks on two legs and have a so called “Brain”, regardless of the fact that I like/dislike/hate/love this person. If your personal decision is to do otherwise, do it without me.

Uncertainty aside, another disturbing thing is true inconsistency. I had to study that in Korea quite a lot, more than you think. In Toronto I’ve already faced that problem but I thought it was only due to uncertainty, by mean, if you’re between love and friendship it is fairly normal to express at time signs of love and then just reject that person.  This is what we call in Korean 우정과 사랑 사이 you always question yourself ..

Do I like her or do I love her ?

I love her ! ..  Oh Right ! as a friend !

I can’t live without her !!..  no no as a friend only!! 

NO, big mistake of interpretation inconsistency is not a consequence of uncertainty, proof is if you are uncertain you would try to solve that equation of emotion, you would look for an answer because it is a natural reflex of the human brain to solve what makes us think. Inconsistency is only to your personal determination. Why ? Because if you don’t have that desire to solve your question you would just live your emotions the way it shows up. Consequently one day you love her, next day you hate her, one day you like her, next day you love her again ! But in no point you will try to stop this nor to question yourself .. why am I having such emotion swing ?

Inconsistency still appears to me as a metal sickness only because I am one of a kind who knows what she wants, getting married, have kids and be happy, Period. Unlike when you’re 250% in love (which is insanity) you wouldn’t consider rejecting your beloved one (unless you have a mental disease). You would be surprised to know how many people around you actually questioned themselves on their own feeling about you. Questioning is fine, you should do it and make sure you’re not missing the “Opportunity of your life”. But PLEASE OH LORD PLEASE don’t include you’re other half in that quest for answer. I cannot tell you why people are sometimes uncertain, why you have to bounce between the edge of  love and friendship, why is it so painful to find someone who loves you ..BUT  If you don’t know you’re own feelings, why do I have to know that ? It’s your problem certainly not mine. My feelings are crystal clear,  right column of the table or left column of the table, nothing in between.  Why do I have to endure so much stress ? Why does it have to be up and down until you figured it out ? If you don’t know how can I know ??

I don’t have any miracle power to cast a spell on my crystal brain and tell you YES or NO, there’s no secret no miracle solution no meditation position no pills that will ever tell you what you want in life. It is all based on your personal desire to move forward or stay where your are.

Including others in your reflections and your thoughts is fine as long as you don’t make them cry and as long as you respect your peers. BTW I think this is the first line of the bible, respect your parents and your peers. 

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I had a dream ..

.. Last night I had a dream, a horrific dream. I can’t remember when I felt asleep nor how .. but suddenly I was drawn back in reality (a previous reality that use to be true a year and a half ago) where I was meeting my friends in Christie on a Sunny Sunday afternoon. 

IT’s so bright outside and so hot I guess we are still in the summer time, all of us are sitting in Christie Pitch Park where we always sit. The 6 of us are here sitting on the grass, laughing and wishing Happy Birthday to our friend. I cooked some 무지개떡 trial number 1,777 this year, and my friends are staring at it with a very unconfident look, I can even read the question marks lining up on the top their heads. Since I decided to cook 무지개떡 6 months ago I’ve became a professional translator in the Question Marks language. I can tell you exactly what one thinks and what’s the other’s answer

(o.o) ????? ??? ?? -> She wants us to eat that?

(ㅠ.ㅠ) ???? ??. ???????? ?? –> I guess so. Otherwise we’re dead.

(ㅜ.ㅜ) ?? ?? ?? –> We’re dead anyway 

(x.x) !! !! –> Let’s eat

(ㅜ.ㅜ) ????? ???.. ??????? ???? ?? ????? –> Sorry brothers.. next time I’ll kidnap her before she has time to cook anything

(ㅡ.ㅡ) ?..!.. –> .. Eatable

The wind is playing with my hair gently and everybody is eating, it turned out I’m not that a bad cook. I cooked this very complicated cake for his birthday so I hope he enjoyed it, truly. But something is bugging me .. what am I doing in Christie Pitch Park on a sunny summer day, a year before I leave for Korea? Another teaching from life ? Or simple a gift from my long term memory?.. Really the six of us are sitting here, laughing and enjoying this moment. I’m staring at this friend from Kingston and I’m thinking .. just so many things will go wrong between us. Just so many things combined with bad lucks will end up in a very wrong friendship. Then I turn my head to that other friend with glasses. Another wasted friendship. A friendship that turned out into two individuals that barely say Hi to each other because of a one-sided love (which wasn’t from me). Then my head is turning left, my long time friend is sitting here. This friend and I barely new each other on that day and unlike the others he’s older than me. Even until now he remains one of my good friend, we can talk to each other for hours until 4 in the morning, drink and invite other friends and drink and talk again. We’ve spent so many hours watching baseball game and drinking soju together, our friendship was based on nothing. Someone introduced us and that was it. We’ve never tried to learn anything from each other, we’ve never tried to try on each other, we’ve never tried to do anything except just talk and have fun. He’s been a very good 오빠 from the first day and even until now, I hope I’ve been a good 동생 to him. So far 2 wasted friendships and one survived, not so bad.

The sunlight is turning into a moonlight and it is time for me to meet my other friend in Finch. He just came back from Korea and we decided to study a bit together. I get in the TTC once again, get off at Finch and can start to smell this miserable toilet smell of Finch station coming through my nostrils. I quickly get out of the station through the TD exit and meet him at the .. Oh wait a text message is coming :

Sorry I’m late can we meet in High Park ?

Well I guess I’m going to High Park ! Get back in the subway all the way to High Park, get out at High Park station walk 10 minutes .. Finally High Park “Park” is in front of me. Now I have to walk on this mixture of dirt rain and green grass with my new Nine West shoes just to meet him. He’s car is parked here and he arrived about 10 minutes before me.  It’s been a while ! Guess what ? I know exactly what you will tell me ! You ruined wedding, your horrible ex girlfriend, the new girlfriend of your dream that you met there and why you can’t trust her and so on.. I know all that already ! I know because it happened and this is my dream. I really want to tell you not to worry about her because anyway you’ll break up with her in 2 months and find a much better girl, so there’s no reason to be so sad right now. I don’t want to hear anymore I just wanna die from your mouth, I want to hug you and tell you Everything will be okay, it will be okay just please be happy and smile. Within this 2 years I didn’t get a lot of chance to see you smiling, why being so sad all the time, happiness is your only choice. And your future will be a lot busier than now, so you should get ready. I always wondered if you became what you are right now in 2012 because of this time we spent together as friend, or was it your only decision ? I wish I could tell you now your future but when I look at your eyes all those memories keep coming back to me. You will get mad at me a trillion times, you’ll cry when I won’t be here for you and leave you alone in this painful life, you will be happy to see me after work, you will get mad ..when I will have to leave. On the top of everything I know our friendship will end on February 1st 2011. Even though I wish it didn’t ..

Suddenly High Park became all dark and this Lady wearing a Red dress appears in front of me,  she has dark hair dark eyes probably in her 40s and she grabs my shoulders. When are you going to wake up ? Just wake up ! Wake up now ! Why do you want me to wake up ? I like this dream, those are good memories. I terribly miss my friends, all of them, I can’t talk to them because bad lucks happened, because we misunderstood each-other, because sometimes we fought or simply because I don’t live there anymore. Not because I don’t love them.. We are all busy with our own life and keeping in touch is hard when you’re not in the same city together. Stop questioning your friends are gone Just wake up ! Wake up now ! There’s nothing to do, she’s dragging me back to reality in 2012, Fine I will wake up just give me one minute to say bye to them. Nope .. she decided otherwise, I woke up suddenly out of breath and my eyes are now open, I’m in room and a trace of her Red Dress is fading away slowly in front of me. I’m staring at it and keep asking myself .. Why we don’t talk anymore to each other ? I’m not sure .. I can’t remember.. What happened ?

It is true, if I go back nothing will be the same anymore. Too many things happened, nobody is ready to do the first step forward, nobody is anyway contacting me while I’m sitting here in the middle of Korea. We are all busy with our own life and even if I go back I will never go back in the past, I will go back to a near future with new friends and a new job. But this is not what I want. I don’t even want to have new friends, I want to understand what happened. I just don’t get how everything went so fast from that wonderful Sunny day in Toronto to tears and sadness. Why can’t we forget and forgive the past?

~ Your past ends where your Future begins, never forget,  never regret and move forward ~ 

Life is a witch !! Darn where is my secret potion and powerful bow ?

I need to scare away some monsters coming to close to my fortress full of emotions, and make them talk..

Once upon a time .. a dear little Princess living in the far far country named Toronto. Our Princess was brilliant at school and such a naive student, clumsy as hell who already broke so many things around her including many of her friendships. Let’s call her.. Lilly (Dare you think it’s me! I picked a fake name) Lilly had a friend named .. wait let me think.. Shrek! Oh no .. that sounds too Green, uhm .. Jae-Won! (only because he”s tomorrow’s lecturer at 서울대..). JW and Lilly developed over the time a wonderful friendship through hard labor and numerous hours of study together. JW had a girlfriend (plus two others on internet) and Lilly had also a boyfriend on and off depending on her daily mood. Well the thing is Lilly and JW never met true love, a love based on trust, common life experience, months and months of friendship, shared laughs and tears and so on..

Okay fine, I had a friend in Toronto and his name is not JW nor am I princess, at least if I am they didn’t tell me. We shared, as “friend” pretty much everything. And I really mean “Everything”. Sometimes we were laughing together, sometimes I was crying on the phone, sometimes HE made me cry sometimes he made me laugh. Sometimes he called me because his girlfriend was having an affair or things like that .. you know just regular friendship things. We spent months studying together, eating together and doing all these things together. I kept all our text messages and was reading it a minute ago, suddenly I realized that .. uhm maybe it was more than Friendship. We’ve never kissed, never slept together OH LORD NO never. We’ve never did anything more than just Big Hug and Good night calls.  I don’t know if you’ve ever watch friends, the sitcom, where the 6 of them have this inter-dependent friendship that never ends and thought that’s only on TV. Well I think we did reach that point where he couldn’t live away from me and nor could I live away from him.

But the thing is, moving to Korea was F.I.N.E. .. being away from him was P.A.I.N.F.U.L. 서울대 is hell, everybody knows that. Even “I” knew before I came here (people are complaining all over the internet .. it wasn’t hard to guess). But I didn’t know that losing my friend would be so painful. For me friendship is forever, your friend will always be your friend and I understand that sometimes they have their own mood on and off, you could be busy, having issues or you know .. shit happens sometimes. I don’t even have time to meet my friend when the semester starts so they understand and we meet over the summer, everything is cool.

That friend thou, the Toronto Guy who’s name is not JW.., was just so mad at me when I told him Hey finally my dream is coming true I’m going to Korea! He told me that I “lied to him” because I promised him we would go to Niagara Falls together knowing that I wouldn’t be here from February 1st. And all the things I promised we would do together wasn’t true blah blah blah.. Fine, I committed the crime of “Lying” to him, well honestly I wasn’t sure if going to Korea was such a good idea so that’s why I didn’t tell him, also I knew he would be so sad .. and I would be so sad losing him I didn’t know how to pull the thing out. SO I just kept it for myself until the very last minute. Stupid idea, I’m accountable for that one.  Then he called again and apologized saying he shouldn’t have talked to me that way and be supportive..

Okay I don’t care honestly. I care about him as a friend, I care about his future, I can disregard everything that happen in the past between he and I, every painful words we shouldn’t have said to each other, I only wanna keep in mind all the good moments we spent together. I just want to remember every time he drove me home and it felt so good to be in his car (it was minus something outside), every time we drove 2 hours to go to that restaurant that didn’t exist, every time we had these very deep conversations, every time he was upset coz of that parking lot guy, every time.. I saw  his eyes and thought “Wow it’s good to talk to you and be away from work!” It doesn’t matter if our friendship were more than that, I don’t care, I don’t wanna marry you, I don’t wanna date you, but I wouldn’t mind a phone call.  Once a friendship is over, it’s hard to get it back, as hard it would be with a relationship. It’s even harder when you’re 6,000 miles away.. I just have so many questions left unanswered. I just have so many things to ask.

I need a magic potion strong enough, maybe made of dragon wings or so, to make you talk and tell me everything you need to speak out. Because of my shitty-busy life we’ve never had a moment where you told me with an open-heart what made you so mad, why being so angry, why staying silent all time I’ve been in Korea, why ? .. I’m so thankful we’ve met, I hope I did help you and that time we spent together wasn’t for nothing. I learnt so much from you and I have so many things I want to talk with you.. Staying without answers is really really painful. It is not a nice way to say thanks for the moment we shared as friends. It is not a nice way either to say GoodBye.

What is the reason of your silence ?

White Day New Resolutions

~ I decided to write two lists, and ended up writing four~

It’s a fact, there’re good people and bad people, respectively the likes and dislikes list.  I’m not getting along well with the bad ones, it’s another fact. Well I gotta say the truth, despite the fact one wear dark clothes stretch pants and leather jacket (okay fine and sometimes really high heels), doesn’t mean one is on the bad side.  But yeah I don’t like to hang out with the bad ones just to “network”. What’s networking ? Oh.. it’s just a Korean way to socialize with people because you either want to have something from them or you need their help or they are your coworkers (yes we have to stick together in Korea).

So I made two lists, the likes and dislikes (organized by name) and you can be sure the dislikes list will be subject sooner or later of deep thinking (I always thought that if I have a Business I will never hire them!), meanwhile the likes list will just turn eventually into a “Friends List” or why not .. “Contact List” on my cellphone. Well we’re not that far yet.

I used to be really energized in the past and doing things that I thought were “Good” and tossed the “Bad things” away, I always had good reasons to do what was good and good reasons for not doing what I thought was bad. But I came to realize that actually not a lot of people understand the reasons behind your good behavior. Meanwhile they dig up a lot to justify your “bad behaviors”. Nobody would think or question Why she did that? What was her motive ? Was she trying to be good to me?  Yeah, most of the time, I never do something thinking Oh well he might be so in pain after that, it can only be good for him/her !  Unless I’m a psychopath .. you know what I mean.

So I wrote another two lists to justify my acts. “I did it and I thought it was good” and “Why I think you have to go on the bad list”.

Here is the “I did it and I thought it was good, Because .. ” :

  1. I thought you would be able to graduate if I helped you to study
  2. I thought you would love that great job that would start your career if I gave you one
  3. I thought you would be happy if I gave you that .. expensive Calvin Klein thing
  4. I thought our friendship was true if I helped you without expecting anything in return
  5. I thought it was scientifically correct to think that way
  6. I thought you would like it if I do that for you (and I’m sorry if you didn’t)
  7. I thought that even thou you don’t like me, at least it would help you and bring you happiness

Here is the  “Why I think you have to go on the bad list, Because..” :

  1. I’m tired to be left behind when others know deliberately I’m just right here
  2. I’m tired to always gather people when they always forget me
  3. I’m tired to tell you everything when you just get benefit out of it and never tell me anything
  4. I’m tired to see that you are eating what I bought for everyone and then don’t even say Hi in the morning
  5. I’m tired to see that after one year you don’t even remember my name even thou we’re sitting next to each other and we meet 5 times per day. 
  6. I’m tired to help you and then you don’t even ask me “Hi How are you?” the minute I’m away
  7. I’m tired to always think my best of what cake would make you happy for your bday meanwhile you didn’t even remember mine, and you were watching  from outside me crying on my bday.
  8. I’m tired to always do work for you when you almost kill me with you words sharp like a knife in front of my Advisor
  9. I’m tired to always count on you when you’re not here for me (meanwhile I’ve ALWAYS been here for you)
  10. I’m tired to pretend to friendship when you can’t even say you know me in front of others
  11. I’m tired to hear you saying shit about me when I’ve never talked to you, not even once
  12. I’m tired that after all the help you’ve never care not even one second of my being

According to personal statistics Girls are always doing better than Guys when it comes to help a female friend. I’ve met some good guys too, but they are minority haha. And vice-versa for guys. My bad people list is mostly fill up with horrible guys or jealous girls, and my good people list is mainly girls that I knew for years or guys who were interested at a some point .. Sad but true. I’ve never done anything to anyone that was intentionally bad, I’ve never wish anything bad even to the ones I dislike,  I’ve always wish the best to all disregarding my own feeling, why isn’t there an once of peace I don’t know, but your behavior cannot silence me. I will always say what I think is right and wrong. Who can handle so much hate and indifference, there’s not enough indignation in this world but my words won’t stay unheard. Nothing can silence pain, not even justice, not even your friend. Every human being has a right to happiness and does not need to hear nor bear your cyclic moody decisions..

Too many tears already.

Nina Wang

Here are the latest pictures of my beloved Nina, she, unfortunately, passed and went to Heaven couple of weeks ago. I haven’t cleaned her stuff yet, I have no energy for that right now.. But at least I wanted to share good memories of the past 7 years we spent together. I will upload more pictures of her as soon as   this graduation exam is over.

~ RIP My Sweetheart ~

Life is a witch – How to un-cast a spell

Or can I teleport myself in the past just for a couple of minutes ?

Don’t know why, after all the pains and tears I’ve learnt how to be a good Korean Girl, how to suffer in silence and smile in the same time, how to lie to people “properly” (Obviously the way we “Canadians” lie is not proper enough to publish a paper in Korea), also I’ve learnt how to meet good people and avoid the crazy ones and how to survive in the jungle with fake friends and hiding my biological weapons. I think I’m ready for afghanistan now, I should sign up for the Canadian forces at least I would make money there.. no wait, do we send people to Afghanistan or is it just the US ?

For some reason my fingers clicked on the Gom Audio icon (not me) and 리쌍 started to play on the background. In less than a second it teleported me back in the past when my friend was driving me home and 리쌍 was playing on his usb-key-car-radio thingy.   I was looking around myself and, Oh Lord, I’m in his car sitting on the front seat, outside the temperature got lost somewhere below minus twenty and we’re driving home.

Am I really in Canada? no kidding, I can see the white empty Kipling station, the warm feeling of being inside his car (vs freezing outside), thanks God, this time he was on time to pick me up. I guess today he was just sick of his boss and stupid customers who ask for noodles knowing they will only get 짜장면, he wanted to hear my voice so he just clocked off  earlier.. We’re driving to .. why are we turning left right now? My house is up north in North York.. Oh right, I remember now, he really liked this Starbucks close to Kipling Station.

The table on the right is ours, just so you would wonder, it’s always been our table and my seat is facing the window. He’s sitting in front of me, his tiny-tired eyes are fixing me and he starts speaking..

“If you go to Korea you will suffer enough, people will never accept you, you have to listen to me. You will cry every single day God makes, even if you meet someone this person will never marry you. Going there, it’s gonna be hell for you to graduate. Korea is a sick country .. trust me you will regret it. You’re Canadian, our country offers the best education possible on Earth, just don’t go in Korea, stay here with me..” blah blah blah ..

What is he talking about ? Korea is not a sick country.. it’s just a history-related problem, that will take time but people will change, eventually. Well dear friend you were right, I don’t regret but I don’t understand either, why so many pains here, you and I are Koreans by blood, why are they different than us? My eyes keep fixing his eyes and darn it’s freaking cold here~! I’m still listening to him brainwashing me, I wanna tell him how horrible it was for me the first few months here. I wanna tell him everything people were doing around me, I need his advice one more time, but my brain can’t stop absorbing everything around, I’m like a sponge.  The noisy Starbucks feels good this time, not bugging me, the lady shooting on the phone is perfectly fat, I’m fine with it, this boiling americano is horribly strong, just the way I like it and hearing his voice is like a sweet melody, I have so many things to say but .. If I speak will you hear me ?

We finished our americanos and he’s driving me home this time. As soon as his car starts 리쌍 is playing on the background and now he’s singing one of their song 헤어지지 못하는 여자, 떠나가지 못하는 남자 I wanna ask him about his New University life, how does he like it, does he have new friends there? Does he still go to Church every Sunday ? Did he stop smoking ?? I’m still speechless I feel that my body is so weak that I can’t speak, I can only follow the motion of his car to my home in North York.

Finally we’re arriving to Tobermory Dr., turning left and then left again, hey that’s my house just right here! Oh my god and my roomy is baking some chocolate cupcakes, wow that must be heaven then. I know she’s watching us through the window secretly, she knows my friend anyway, we’ve been studying together for months now, and we knew each other for 2 years already. He parks the car and comes to open my door, I’m stepping out and start to walk on the snow. He calls my name meanwhile leaning on his white-car. So I’m walking toward him, I’m wondering what does he has to say to me before I go home ..

Suddenly he grabs my arm, put his left arm around my neck and hugs me tight. He wanted to have a big hug before I go because we always hug before I go home, always. I can feel his warm body around me, his skin touching mine, I can feel his heartbeat speeding up.. does he know that I’m in Korea? I can feel his eyes on me and cold chicks against my forehead. I should tell him how much I missed him.. My mouth is starting to open and I take a deep breath

“I …”

Oh my god my body is floating in the air and my hands are turning into a dark shadow. NO NOT NOW, just 5 more seconds PLEASE ! Someone is calling my name 김유린선생님~ 유린생~ Not now, I don’t wanna go back now, I wanna tell him I missed him every single day, I wanna hold him one minute more, just tell him how much I …

“miss you” My eyes are left wide open in front of my Advisor, yes I am still in my laboratory, it’s dark outside and definitely looks like Korea  .. He’s 60 something and always look expression less. ” You missed me?” he said. Not really, honestly, not at all. I really like him though but this time .. I wish he wouldn’t be the one looking for me in this lab.

Darn that was close, I wish I knew how to teleport myself in the past just one minute more, here things happen and you don’t even know how .. Korea is a mysterious country.

서른한살이야~

안녕하세요,  김유린 입니다 ㅎㅎ

오늘은 일년동안 한국에 있었어요 ! ㅊㅋ

오늘부터 졸업까지 십이개월 남았지만 요기는 너무 힘들아니까 졸업 언제 할 수 있는건 아직 모르겠다. 요기 왔었을때부터 한국어를 공부 못해서 아직 캐나다 가고 십지 않아요. 십월부터 알바 찾았고 주말마다 진주에 가다와요. 서울보다 진주 사람들은  완벽히 한국 사람 있다 ㅎㅎ 왜 서울과 진주 사람 사이에 차이 있다고 모르겠지만 전 서울에 정말 못살아고 피곤하도 서울보다 진주 가기 진짜 좋았다 ~

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