Life is a witch – How to un-cast a spell

Or can I teleport myself in the past just for a couple of minutes ?

Don’t know why, after all the pains and tears I’ve learnt how to be a good Korean Girl, how to suffer in silence and smile in the same time, how to lie to people “properly” (Obviously the way we “Canadians” lie is not proper enough to publish a paper in Korea), also I’ve learnt how to meet good people and avoid the crazy ones and how to survive in the jungle with fake friends and hiding my biological weapons. I think I’m ready for afghanistan now, I should sign up for the Canadian forces at least I would make money there.. no wait, do we send people to Afghanistan or is it just the US ?

For some reason my fingers clicked on the Gom Audio icon (not me) and 리쌍 started to play on the background. In less than a second it teleported me back in the past when my friend was driving me home and 리쌍 was playing on his usb-key-car-radio thingy.   I was looking around myself and, Oh Lord, I’m in his car sitting on the front seat, outside the temperature got lost somewhere below minus twenty and we’re driving home.

Am I really in Canada? no kidding, I can see the white empty Kipling station, the warm feeling of being inside his car (vs freezing outside), thanks God, this time he was on time to pick me up. I guess today he was just sick of his boss and stupid customers who ask for noodles knowing they will only get 짜장면, he wanted to hear my voice so he just clocked off  earlier.. We’re driving to .. why are we turning left right now? My house is up north in North York.. Oh right, I remember now, he really liked this Starbucks close to Kipling Station.

The table on the right is ours, just so you would wonder, it’s always been our table and my seat is facing the window. He’s sitting in front of me, his tiny-tired eyes are fixing me and he starts speaking..

“If you go to Korea you will suffer enough, people will never accept you, you have to listen to me. You will cry every single day God makes, even if you meet someone this person will never marry you. Going there, it’s gonna be hell for you to graduate. Korea is a sick country .. trust me you will regret it. You’re Canadian, our country offers the best education possible on Earth, just don’t go in Korea, stay here with me..” blah blah blah ..

What is he talking about ? Korea is not a sick country.. it’s just a history-related problem, that will take time but people will change, eventually. Well dear friend you were right, I don’t regret but I don’t understand either, why so many pains here, you and I are Koreans by blood, why are they different than us? My eyes keep fixing his eyes and darn it’s freaking cold here~! I’m still listening to him brainwashing me, I wanna tell him how horrible it was for me the first few months here. I wanna tell him everything people were doing around me, I need his advice one more time, but my brain can’t stop absorbing everything around, I’m like a sponge.  The noisy Starbucks feels good this time, not bugging me, the lady shooting on the phone is perfectly fat, I’m fine with it, this boiling americano is horribly strong, just the way I like it and hearing his voice is like a sweet melody, I have so many things to say but .. If I speak will you hear me ?

We finished our americanos and he’s driving me home this time. As soon as his car starts 리쌍 is playing on the background and now he’s singing one of their song 헤어지지 못하는 여자, 떠나가지 못하는 남자 I wanna ask him about his New University life, how does he like it, does he have new friends there? Does he still go to Church every Sunday ? Did he stop smoking ?? I’m still speechless I feel that my body is so weak that I can’t speak, I can only follow the motion of his car to my home in North York.

Finally we’re arriving to Tobermory Dr., turning left and then left again, hey that’s my house just right here! Oh my god and my roomy is baking some chocolate cupcakes, wow that must be heaven then. I know she’s watching us through the window secretly, she knows my friend anyway, we’ve been studying together for months now, and we knew each other for 2 years already. He parks the car and comes to open my door, I’m stepping out and start to walk on the snow. He calls my name meanwhile leaning on his white-car. So I’m walking toward him, I’m wondering what does he has to say to me before I go home ..

Suddenly he grabs my arm, put his left arm around my neck and hugs me tight. He wanted to have a big hug before I go because we always hug before I go home, always. I can feel his warm body around me, his skin touching mine, I can feel his heartbeat speeding up.. does he know that I’m in Korea? I can feel his eyes on me and cold chicks against my forehead. I should tell him how much I missed him.. My mouth is starting to open and I take a deep breath

“I …”

Oh my god my body is floating in the air and my hands are turning into a dark shadow. NO NOT NOW, just 5 more seconds PLEASE ! Someone is calling my name 김유린선생님~ 유린생~ Not now, I don’t wanna go back now, I wanna tell him I missed him every single day, I wanna hold him one minute more, just tell him how much I …

“miss you” My eyes are left wide open in front of my Advisor, yes I am still in my laboratory, it’s dark outside and definitely looks like Korea  .. He’s 60 something and always look expression less. ” You missed me?” he said. Not really, honestly, not at all. I really like him though but this time .. I wish he wouldn’t be the one looking for me in this lab.

Darn that was close, I wish I knew how to teleport myself in the past just one minute more, here things happen and you don’t even know how .. Korea is a mysterious country.


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